THE BLOG

In late 1979, as a young husband and father, I had a “consider-your-ways” moment. Lynne and I had been married nearly five years, and our girls were two and six months respectively. By our choice, Lynne was a stay-at-home mom. As is the case for many young marrieds with preschoolers, money was tighter than the bottle caps on some energy drinks.

It was a Saturday in 1979.  Where I was, I had no business being. I was lying under one of our cars trying to replace a freeze plug that was leaking in the engine. I say I had no business being there because I knew nothing about repairing cars and had a bare minimum of tools to even attempt.  I was attempting to repair it because we didn’t have any money to pay a mechanic to do it.  We were living on one modest income and had two daughters – one 21 months and the other one just a month. Money was tighter than a pair of skinny jeans.

While the length of time that shock will continue varies from person to person, as the shock wears off, the reality of what has happened begins to sink in.  It’s what a person does after the shock wears off that determines the quality of his/her grieving process.  Persons may not have had any real control over the circumstances which caused them to lose a loved one, but they are in control of how they respond to the fact that the loss has occurred.  So, how can we grieve in such a way that we move forward and not just move on?