‘Til Death Do Us Part

by | Feb 1, 2021 | Inspiration

In the late 1980’s, a man named Sam Reck met and later married a widow named JoAnn at his church in Jacksonville, FL. Eventually they moved into the Florida Presbyterian Home where they were known as “Romeo & Juliet.” Last July, JoAnn contracted COVID and died on July 12 in the Lakeland Regional Medical Center. As she neared death she was placed in the palliative care unit which allowed opportunity for her immediate family to visit her. Even though Sam, at age 90, was in a high risk category should he contract COVID, he did not let that keep him from visiting JoAnn. A picture of him wearing a protective cap, gown, gloves, and two layers of masks standing beside her, gazing into her eyes, received international attention. As a result of visiting her, he contracted COVID and died three weeks later. After he tested positive he was asked if he regretted visiting her and immediately he replied, “Not one second.” 1

Sam and JoAnn Reck give new meaning to the phrase “til death do us part.” That phrase has been pledged by couples getting married ever since similar words first appeared in the Book of Common Prayer, written in 1549 by Thomas Cranmer, Archbishop of Canterbury. As a minister I have led many couples to make that pledge to one another. And as far as I could tell from conversations with them during pre-marital sessions, every one of them meant what they pledged. Their pre-marital dream truly was for their marriages to last “til death do us part.” Yet, anyone who has been married for any amount of time becomes aware rather quickly that making that pledge at the altar is rather easy compared to what it takes to live it out in the ebb and flow of everyday married life.

What steps can we take in our marriages that will enable us to stay married “til death do us part”? While by no means exhaustive, I’d like to share three.

  1. Don’t go into marriage with an escape plan already in place.
     A number of years ago I attended a concert by Christian singer Wayne Watson. Between two of the songs, Watson shared about his wife and children. While speaking of his marriage, he said, “What has enabled my wife and me to work through some tough challenges at times is the four word commitment we made to each other on our wedding day – “There’s no     way out.” If a husband and wife agree that there is no way out of their marriage, especially if that conviction arises from their belief that that is God’s intention for marriage, that will motivate them to work through their issues rather than jump ship and run. After all, if there’s no way out, are we not all selfish enough that we won’t endure misery for very long without taking action to address it?
  2. Don’t see your spouse as a fixer-upper.
    Our TV channels are filled with fixer-upper shows. Unfortunately, some individuals view their spouses as a marital fixer-upper. One young husband must have felt that way when he said, “I didn’t know that there was a wrong way to put milk in the refrigerator until I got married.” A friend of mine years ago shared wise counsel with me when he said of himself and his wife, “Our marriage took off when we stopped trying to fix one another.”
  3. Don’t stress out over incompatibility.
    A few years ago my wife Lynne and I were laughing about how different we are. Our conclusion at the end of our conversation was that we prove that the need for compatibility in marriage is overrated. We’re as different as night and day, but our marriage is solid as a rock. How can that be? It is because while we are “incompatible” regarding many of our personal tastes, we are very much compatible in our core values – especially in our love for God and all He represents, our family, and our basic moral values. If a couple can reach compatibility in their core values, they can “chillax” about the rest and take a lot of stress out of their marriage.

Because marriage was God’s idea, He is the one who has the best advice on how to enable a marriage not only to last “til death do us part”, but also to thrive. Therefore I encourage you to read in the Bible these passages: Ephesians 5:22-33 and Matthew 19:1-12. 

Happy Valentine’s Day!

1 USA Today, 8/10/20, p.3d